


you stay with the earth (cause you don't understand that i would rather freeze)

by love_killed_the_superstar



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Aftermath, Dialogue Heavy, Episode: s03e19 Plus Et En Vous, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Realising Feelings, Recovery, Redemption, making amends, unspoken feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23076163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_killed_the_superstar/pseuds/love_killed_the_superstar
Summary: In the days between the fall of Zhan Tiri and Rapunzel's happily ever after, Cassandra tries to tie up the loose ends and take the next step forward.
Relationships: Cassandra/Rapunzel (Disney: Tangled)
Comments: 59
Kudos: 215





	1. all this trying has made me tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cass says goodnight to Rapunzel, and Varian comes to check up on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowee my first tangled fic. cassandra is the best lesbian and the best character disney has ever created HANDS DOWN. i love her and i want her to be happy and in love with rapunzel  
> chapter title is from 'song for you' by alexi murdoch because its a song about feeling fucking hopeless and if THAT aint the most cassandra mood

_**Day 0** _

It feels way too fucking weird to be back here.

Cassandra's bedroom is in a similar state to before, largely trashed after her tantrum earlier. In all the craziness the day brought, however, someone took the time to fold up her old headdress and leave it on her pillow. (The person responsible? She can only imagine it was Rapunzel.) She can't bring herself to rip it up the second time. It's like all the anger that was festering left with the moonstone. It's drifting through space, leaving her with this unusual feeling inside. It's not hollowness, but it's not exactly peacefulness either.

Rapunzel lingers in the doorway with her. They've been holding hands the whole journey back to her room. Cass hadn't noticed it at first, until the curious stares from passers by started getting on her nerves. But then, seeing the cause for concern, she couldn't tear her hand away. If it had felt so normal she hadn't even realised something was amiss... well, that's just a sign, isn't it? It's been a long time since she's looked for signs.

Signs that Rapunzel might love her the way she wishes to be loved. Signs that she isn't imagining the long looks, the flirting, the casual touches.

Well. It's been a long time since all of that. Coming back to it as though no time has passed is jarring in itself.

“You're sure you don't want me to stay?” Rapunzel asks. They both peer in. The black rocks are gone, but the echoes of this morning's chaos remain. “Or... you can stay with me?”

Cass appreciates it. She does. But she can't take up more space in Rapunzel's day. She's already done enough; all Rapunzel deserves now is to be embraced by her parents, or Eugene, or take an early night for herself. The burden on her shoulders, the one that Cass created, has been wearing on her for almost a year now. She deserves to have it lifted.

“I'll be fine, Raps. Go on, now.”

She steps forward, but Rapunzel doesn't let go. Cass feels herself jerked back slightly and turns to face her. Their arms are strained with the distance, and Rapunzel has a look on her face that Cass has rarely seen. She's seen conflict, and heartbreak, and disbelief. This is none of those. It's a way Raps looked at her before she brought her black rock sword down on the bridge, severing their ties for the first time. A look that screams _please don't let go._

It's a look Cass has given her before, she's sure of it.

“You're not going to disappear, right?” Rapunzel asks quietly. “Corona is still your home, even after all that's happened.”

Disappearing sounds fucking amazing, actually. Run off into the woods and never come back. Vanish into the morning fog, be spoken of only in myth. Forget all your mistakes.

But Cass is a realist. She shakes her head.

“No. I'll stick around. I promise.”

“Please don't break it.”

“I never _do_ , when it comes to you.” Cass squeezes her hand tightly. “Not anymore. Never again.”

Rapunzel purses her lips and nods, her grip on Cassandra's hand finally slackening. She retracts it shyly, still watching Cass with a wide, anticipatory gaze. Expecting her to turn around and escape through the window, maybe. Expecting her to grow cold and distant again, perhaps.

Cass sighs. “Raps. I'm just tired. I'm going to sleep. I'll still be here come morning, okay?”

Rapunzel smiles, but it's still hesitant. “All right. Goodnight, Cass.”

She turns to leave, before changing her mind, stepping into the room after her. Before Cass can protest she is scooped up into a bear hug. Rapunzel buries her face into Cass's chest, clinging on as the seconds pass, and Cass rests her chin atop Rapunzel's head. It's peaceful. Then she lets go, and it feels all too fast.

“Sweet dreams,” Rapunzel says, with a smile and wave, before finally leaving the room. Cass stays rooted to the spot, listening as Rapunzel's footsteps grow lighter, further away, until they fade into nothing. The room feels achingly empty now that she's gone.

Her feet drag but she finally reaches her bed, sitting down heavily and moving the headdress to one side. She thinks back to the events of the afternoon with a heavy heart.

After eventually untangling herself from Eugene and Rapunzel's embrace, things had been... strange. Some Coronans were giving her smiles and nods, applauding her as much as they did Rapunzel. Some were looking far more apprehensive. A few even looked downright furious that she was on the receiving end of any praise at all. Cass supposes they're well within their right not to trust her, after all the damage she's caused Corona – after bearing the responsibility of Zhan Tiri's return. That's just what happens when people are weak, isn't it? Always, in the books her father would read to her as a child, the weaker ones were preyed on, manipulated, turned against their friends. And that lead to their ruination.

That was her, wasn't it? Until a few hours ago, anyway.

There's so much to work through now. Rapunzel might be all-loving and all-forgiving, but trust has to be built again with just about everyone else. The thought is exhausting. Impossible, even. _No one_ is as forgiving as the girl she loves, after all. So, naturally, she had excused herself as soon as possible to hide out in her room until further notice. It's not like she isn't planning to help sort out the mess of the castle, but right now, she's terrified of being seen by anyone. Now that the threat of Zhan Tiri is gone, they can only direct their anger towards what remains – the puppet who's been way too bitchy and destructive for anyone to feel sorry for.

God, she hates herself right now.

Cass lies back, arms folded behind her back, staring up at the ceiling with its familiar crack along the left hand side, the same old patch of mould in the corner, grey and scabbed over with age. If she keeps her eyes trained on the ceiling and ignores her peripheral vision she can pretend that she's younger than now; that this is from an easier time, before their quest outside of Corona, before the moonstone... but if she glances even an inch downwards, she can see a wrecked closet beside her, she can see debris and fabric in tatters. And it all becomes real again.

The thrum of the castle, echoing footsteps above her, muffled voices all around, are their own whale song. Her eyelids grow heavy, and she falls asleep without being missed.

…

_**Day 1** _

When Cassandra wakes, head thick with leftover sleep, she sees Varian's face inches from hers and almost has a heart attack.

“VARIAN! What the – what are – how did you get in here?!”

“There's a master key to all the rooms in the castle, of course,” he says matter-of-factly, leaning back with his arms folded. “And Rapunzel was worried when you didn't resurface at the crack of dawn like you usually do.”

Cass, having backed up against the bed frame in her haste to put some distance between herself and Varian, glances towards the window. The sun is high up in the sky – a tad too high for her liking.

“What time is it? How long was I asleep?”

“It's past noon. Rapunzel said that's unusual for you.”

Cass's eyes bug out.

“Noon?! God, I only ever sleep in that late when I'm sick.”

“Rapunzel said _that_ too. So, I made it my business to check in on you. She wanted to, believe me, but there's a lot of... y'know, political stuff to sort through after all that's happened. The other kingdoms have caught word of the commotion already so they're having to meet with the rulers and straighten everything out.”

Cass grimaces, a pang of guilt washing over her. Of course the other kingdoms would be worried by the blood red sky and Corona having half of its structure ruined. And of course Rapunzel would be left to clean up her mess, _again_. Despite this, there's a flood of disappointment, after all that Rapunzel made her promise to stay, she's the one nowhere to be found.

“I'm surprised you bothered,” she finds herself saying instead. “I haven't exactly been a nice person lately. I mean, we were enemies until yesterday, weren't we?”

Varian frowns and leans forward.

“Cassandra, I understand how you're feeling. I went through it too. But when I was at my lowest point, Rapunzel was there for me. She gave me a chance to ask for forgiveness – to become a better person and earn everyone's trust back. And I did it! I hope.” He rubs the back of his head sheepishly. “I'm not saying it'll be easy. But you aren't forgotten just because of everything that's happened. We still _care_.”

Cass purses her lips and looks away.

“You care, but you fired the gun.” It's not an accusation, just... a statement. Because he _did_ , and she still can't completely understand why. She doesn't even understand how it came to be made, how Rapunzel ever agreed to it, and that part still hurts.

“Not on purpose,” Varian says quickly. He at least has the decency to look distressed at the idea. “I don't really get what happened that day – I mean, obviously the gun fired. I don't know if it was faulty, or, or if I accidentally left the safety off, but – Cass, all I knew was what I'd been told. And I was told Rapunzel was in danger at your hands, and that's why I brought the gun with me in the first place. But even so, it wasn't my plan to actually use it right then and there, not when Rapunzel was trying to calm the situation down. I wouldn't _do_ that, Cassandra.”

“But you did!” She pushes herself up off the bed and begins to pace. She's full of uneasy energy. It's not quite anger, but it's _something_ bordering on negative, and the last thing she wants to be after everything that's happened is _negative_. “Varian, help me understand. Please. Why would you even make that thing? Zhan Tiri said it was to _destroy_ me, and, I know now that she was manipulating me, but after everything you went through with your dad... how could you think that it was okay to use the amber like that?”

“Of course I didn't think it was okay!” he burst out. “But what choice did I have? I didn't know how to make you _stop_. I tried to talk to you, remember? You didn't want to listen.”

He's right, but it doesn't make it any easier to think about.

“I'm listening now,” she says at last.

He runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

“Cassandra, the amber was only ever meant to be a last resort. I didn't _mean_ to use it on you that time. I could see Rapunzel was starting to get through to you, why would I choose to jeopardise that?”

“I've been asking myself the same question,” Cass mutters. She stops pacing, leans back against her bedroom door with arms folded. Hashing things out has been such a trial by fire lately, but she's trying her damn hardest not to let that anger back in. If she's going to start earning back trust, it probably starts with not being so fucking defensive all the time.

“Well, it was an accident. A horrible accident that broke your trust in _me_. That much I'm sorry for, Cass. But I can't say that I regret taking precautions, not when Rapunzel and the rest of Corona were at stake. I hope now you see that it wasn't personal.”

“I know that.”

It all just feels like so much. The last 48 hours have been a fucking wagon ride down a steep incline.

“I know no one will believe me, but I came back to Corona to make amends. My intentions were to... I don't know, set things right somehow. Earn back that trust before revealing myself. But things didn't work out that way.”

“Things rarely pan out how you want them to,” Varian offers. “But I remember the way the play went down. Was that your doing?”

“Faith is no actress,” Cass says dryly. “Neither am I, really, but I'm apparently good at trickery as long as I have a cloak over me. The play was real. I made it so, since Feldspar's adaptation of what happened was so god awful.”

“For what it's worth, I think the play made more sense once the improv began.”

“Thanks.”

Cass slides down, sitting on the floor with her back still against the door, and watches Varian tiredly. “It felt good, right? Having the power to get a hold over me?”

He freezes. “...What?”

“I heard that you and Eugene were cackling over it like it were some shiny new toy. But you're not an idiot, Varian. You knew how powerful a tool like that would be. Was it the power that made you happy?”

He shrugs.

“I enjoy making things. I enjoy when the things I make actually _work_. And yeah, maybe it did feel good knowing that I could be useful in a fight. Isn't that why you snatched the moonstone?”

“I guess. Being powerful and being useful feel like the same thing a lot of the time. I had to be self-reliant if I was going to take my destiny into my own hands, you know?”

“It's still not too late for that. Just, uh, maybe do it without bringing ancient demons into it next time, I guess.”

It's a joke, but it still stings knowing how bad things got because of her. She squeezes her eyes shut.

“So. Why'd you show up here, again?”

Varian's face brightens at the change in topic and he rises from his seat, moving closer to Cass and sitting down cross-legged opposite her. He clasps his hands together.

“I wanted to check you over in case being separated with the moonstone messed with your constitution. Do you feel under the weather at all?”

Cass frowns. “I don't know. Not really? Just tired. I felt really weak right after the moonstone was taken but I bounced back from it. And then I... well, Rapunzel brought me back and healed me. I don't feel so bad.”

“I'm glad she did.” Varian gives her a toothy smile. “I still want to check in on you every so often though, just in case of any lingering effects.”

“Sure.” Cass really thinks hard about whether she can sense any changes, but all she feels is in need of catching up on more sleep. She flexes her right hand and grimaces, the gesture not quite escaping Varian's notice.

“Something wrong?”

“I didn't really think about it yesterday with all the excitement, but Rapunzel's healing magic didn't seem to do my hand any good.”

“Your hand?”

“On our travels I... I touched Rapunzel. She was in the throes of an incantation. The magic – it burned my hand. Or, or maybe it wasn't a burn... either way it started to wither. When I took the moonstone it stopped hurting, but now it feels tender again. I'm just not ready to look at it yet.”

Varian frowns and leans forward. “Then how do you know it didn't help?”

“What?”

“The healing magic. You haven't even _looked_ at your hand?”

Cass frowns, folding her arms and looking away. “I don't need to. It feels weak. My fingers are stiff. It's just like it was before I grabbed the moonstone.”

“Cass, you can't just leave it! At the very least, let me clean it. You _did_ clean it after what happened, right?” Varian runs his hand through his hair, brow furrowed in concern. “You must've. You must've! Or, you'd have gone septic, right? Unless the moonstone cauterised the wound somehow? Cassandra, I'm dying to know, please!”

“Varian!” she snaps, and he shuts up. “I cleaned it as soon as I could, I'm not a fool. It was a painful process and didn't do anything to improve its condition aside from preventing spread of infection through my system. It's always going to be this way and I've accepted it. So there's no need to bring up my hopes again.”

Varian studies her scowl for a few seconds, before reaching over in a flash and wrenching her glove off.

She hisses. “Varian, you little-!”

As she reaches over to snatch it back, she glances down at her hand and freezes in place.

“I'm sorry, I was feeling impulsive,” Varian says quickly, tossing it back. It lands in her lap but she doesn't move. Her mouth is gaping open. “Cass?”

“It's – you were right. Look at it!”

He examines her hand with a grimace. It's heavily scarred, marred in mottled pinks, reds and browns, almost becoming its own new terrain. But Cass is looking at it like it holds all the secrets of the known universe, eyes wide and gleaming.

“You mean it was _worse_ than this before?”

“Varian, it was like charcoal. It was so badly decayed I couldn't stomach to look at it. But now – I mean, look at it!”

Some strange feeling is stewing in her chest, threatening to bubble over. It starts with a quirk of the lips, spreading outwards. It tickles her nose, sings in her ears, until she can't contain it any longer.

She bursts out laughing.

Varian watches in a baffled silence as she doubles over laughing. She cradles her hand to her chest, taking in lungfuls of air as more oxygen escapes. There's ecstasy in her laughter, pure unfiltered joy with each gasp.

It started with Rapunzel, and now it's ended with Rapunzel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this fic is going to explore all the things the finale left unsaid. making up with people, figuring out what she'll do next, and plenty of moments of cass and raps realising they're meant to be together on top of that.  
> see you next time!


	2. you never know who's looking on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cass writes a terrible letter and gets drunk with Eugene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back at it again with chapter 2! it ended up way longer than i planned, partially from cass's letter and also because after my first draft, i added a whole dang fight scene and it got out of hand. never put two characters who have beef in the same room and bring up touchy subjects, its HARD to get things back under control  
> chapter title is from 'i can't dance' by genesis because its a good song to get drunk to imo

_**Day 2** _

It's hard being back in Corona.

Cass is antsy. She is stuck in a kingdom with a lot of people who likely hate her. She doesn't dare leave her room to go sparring on the grounds in case of a confrontation. She's been using the servant passages to sneak the occasional meal from the kitchen or use the bathroom, being careful to avoid getting caught. The one person she knows for certain is happy to see her is gone for who knows how long.

Cass realises she's not even sure if there's anyone left in Corona she could consider friends or family.

No one knows where her dad is or if he's even planning on returning to Corona after his latest 'grief retreat' (the words of gossiping kitchen staff have left her shaken, to say the least). If she had any clue where he'd go outside of Corona of course she'd go looking for him, but that would mean asking for help. She's trying not to do that right now. Besides, Rapunzel asked her to stay, and she's through breaking promises.

Rapunzel...

God, she keeps going over everything in her mind. Rapunzel's arms around her, steadying her, her voice calm but strong – fierce. _There is more in you, Cassandra._ Her warmth, like something Cass has never known. The feeling of a teardrop on her cheek as she blinked and saw Rapunzel channelling the combined power of the sundrop and moonstone. Rapunzel _cried_ for her. Brought her back, and why? It's something she can't stop asking herself.

So, she starts to write.

~~_Dear Rapunzel_ ~~

~~_To Rapunzel_ ~~

~~_Hey Raps_ ~~

_Hey Rapunzel_

Figuring out how to write her own thoughts turns out to be pretty fucking hard. It's like there's some mental block between the way she talks and thinks and feels, and the way that her hand moves across the page. Stupid, flowing words come out instead, like she's writing to some foreign diplomat instead of pouring her emotions onto paper.

This feels ridiculous. Clearly Rapunzel's method of self-expression just... doesn't work for her. Still, staring down at this erratic, overly personal letter before her, all she feels is disappointed.

A knock at the door pulls her away from these thoughts.

Cass isn't exactly expecting company at this time of night, especially as Rapunzel isn't set to return for at least another day. Who else could be visiting at this time? More to the point, who would _want_ to?

…Well actually, maybe there is one.

“Varian, I appreciate your concern with my condition but I'm not opening the door, it's late,” she calls from the other side, hastily scrunching the letter up in her hands. There's a loud scoff from beyond the door.

“As if! I cannot _believe_ , Cassandra, that you would mistake my _signature knock_ for being Varian. Honestly!”

Cass groans. Okay, so maybe there _is_ someone else in Corona who would want to visit her.

“This sure is a strange time of night to come visit, Fitzherbert,” Cass drawls, reluctantly opening the door. He is posed, full cheesy smoulder going on, leaning against the door frame holding a fancy bottle in hand. “You know, it's considered very improper for the boyfriend of the princess to visit a lady's quarters after hours.”

Eugene snorts. “In case it escaped your notice, you're no lady. Besides, I come bearing peace.”

He rattles the fancy blown glass bottle in his hand to emphasise the liquid inside, and Cass eyes it dubiously.

“I see that. What exactly is it?”

“A gift from the representatives of Koto. I travelled out to the meeting point yesterday but the amount of gifts the other country bombarded Corona with was enough to fill a carriage. As the captain of the guard, I was ordered by the king to return early to secure the donations and check in with the delegated troops.”

“And yet you stole alcohol from the inventory and decided to come here,” Cass deadpans. “Not exactly setting a golden example there, are you Eugene?”

He shrugs. “The people of Corona are more united than ever after all that's happened, they wouldn't miss one lousy bottle. Besides, this one was a gift to me from the Governer of Koto himself. My criminal past is behind me now and I, for one, am shocked you would even suggest-”

“All right, all right, spare me the moral high ground,” Cass mutters. “You've at least followed the king's orders? Right?”

“Your lack of faith in my professionalism wounds me,” Eugene sighs, shaking his head. “If you must know, the perimeter is secure. And they've been rotating posts regularly as per my orders. Other than minor misdemeanours there's been nothing to report. So! After my work was done, I decided to come pay a visit to Corona's Most Wanted. You know, official business and all.”

Cassandra scowls.

“Don't use me as an excuse to worm your way out of _actual_ work.”

“I told you, I've finished! I just... wanted to see if you'd join me for a nightcap.”

Cass eyes him suspiciously. “A _nightcap_.”

“Yes. Rapunzel doesn't like me drinking before bed but I thought – I don't know, maybe this would be one of those rare things we have in common.” He chuckles and looks away. “Look, Cass, it's okay if you don't want to. Really I just wanted an excuse to see if you're doing okay.”

Cass regards him wordlessly. He's not in his uniform anymore. He's watching her with a hopeful, earnest look on his face. Normally when it comes to Eugene she can tell when he's trying to dupe her, but it doesn't seem like there's any ulterior motive besides checking up on her like the sentimental goof he is.

“...All right, come on in. Excuse the mess, too.”

She figures it's better to own up to the wrecked wardrobe right away instead of waiting for him to bring it up. He whistles as he steps inside.

“Damn Cass, what happened in here?”

“Nothing worth bringing up.”

He sits down with his back resting up against her mattress and pats the floor beside him. With a heavy sigh, Cass joins him, hastily stuffing the crumpled letter beneath her bed. Their shoulders press together and for a moment it feels like their travelling days – cramped up in a caravan with no personal space, no privacy, nothing just _hers._ It was a chaotic time that she really does miss, even with all the bad that came from it. Moments like this, shared body heat and easy snipes at each other after a long day of travelling, were the good parts of what turned out to be a really fucking sad chapter of her life.

Eugene uncaps the bottle and sniffs it. “Mmm. You ever had rum before?”

Cass thinks back. “No, I don't think so. Generally I stick to ale or cider.”

“Sensible. Just a warning, this stuff is a little sweet.”

He takes a swig and grimaces a little as the warmth hits the back of his throat, before handing the bottle to Cass. She sniffs. Along with the usual bitterness of alcohol, it does have some sweetness to it. Just her luck.

She tilts her head back and takes a swig, and almost chokes. The taste of alcohol is a lot stronger than she remembers, and combined with the overpowering saccharine flavouring it takes some concentration to steady the urge to cough it right out. As she swallows, the warmth from the drink blooms in her chest, almost tickling. She shudders and hands it back to him.

“Fuck, you weren't kidding! This is worlds apart from what I'd normally drink,” Cass says with another shudder. Eugene splutters.

“I knew it! I knew you had a sailor's mouth under all that noble schtick!”

Cass rolls her eyes. “Come on, it's not a pride thing.”

“Oh, the hell it isn't!”

Looking away, she mutters flatly, “...Rapunzel would be disappointed in me for cursing, so I don't do it.”

Eugene bursts out laughing.

“God! That's one more thing we've got in common, huh.”

He takes another sip as she scoffs, “Please. This isn't exclusive to us, the whole of Corona have taken an oath against cursing in front of Rapunzel. Her disappointment is enough to bring castle life grinding to a halt and you know it.”

Eugene chuckles and hands the bottle over. “I can see it now. Corona's very first seminar on unpleasant language and how it damages the self-esteem.”

Cass snorts. “How about 'Turning Those Four-Letter Negatives Into Four-Letter Positives?'”

Eugene cackles and then hastily claps a hand over his mouth. He turns to face her. “Cass. Cass, I am begging you, this never leaves the room. We _cannot_ be giving Rapunzel any ideas to work from.”

Cass takes a swig and nods with a grimace. “You read my mind, Fitzherbert.”

They fall into comfortable small talk, passing the bottle back and forth as the moon shines bright in the sky. Stupid things. Anecdotes from the journey. Tales of their youth, of Eugene stealing and swindling and smouldering while Cassandra recalls many hours spent shadowing her dad and listening in on palace gossip like the wallflower she was. (To put it lightly, after the things Cass overheard she'll never be able to look at Feldspar the same way again. Now that it's out in the open, neither will Eugene.)

“...So, you're captain of the guard now,” Cass mentions offhandedly, after she's successfully scarred him with her insiders archive of ancient Corona gossip. “That's a thing that happened while I was gone.”

Eugene purses his lips and nods.

“Uh, yeah. It's, uh, definitely a thing that happened.”

“It is.” Cass turns to him. “So what's the story?”

Beside her, Eugene grows quiet. Takes a long slug from the bottle in his hands.

“Tell me,” she prods. “Did – did something happen with my dad? I know he's not in the castle right now. He's not even in the kingdom's perimeter.”

If he was he'd come find her. Wouldn't he?

“...Your dad's fine,” Eugene sighs. “He chose to retire.”

Cass stares.

“He _retired_? By choice?!”

“Yeah. He didn't want to be captain anymore if it meant having to fight you for Corona's sake.”

“But... that makes _no sense._ My dad, he – he's given everything for Corona! He takes so much pride in his duty, I – I don't understand.”

Now it's Eugene's turn to look at her like she's sprouted a second head. “He's your _father_ , Cass!”

“So?!”

“So – so he cares! Why is it so surprising that he wasn't willing to fight you to the death if he had to?”

“Because...!” She folds up, hugging her knees to her chest. “Because, Eugene, I was – I was _horrible_ to him. I was so angry – I mean, I still am! He lied to me and didn't even understand why I might be pissed about it!”

Eugene sighs and passes her the bottle to buy some time to speak as she angrily slugs back a mouthful. “Look, I'm not going to pretend like I understand the weird 'daddy's little soldier' dynamic you grew up with. I'm not gonna say your dad was right to hide the truth from you. But you're his child! Even if you ran your mouth – even if you brought down a wall on his head, he still loves you! Of _course_ he couldn't bear to fight you.”

Cass thrusts the bottle back into his hands, stormy-faced. “So you were appointed, then. By my father, no less.”

Eugene cringes. “Yeeeaah... It surprised me too.”

Cass shrugs, but he doesn't miss the way her eye is twitching. “He just... handed it over. A job that you've never cared for, while I-” She catches herself and looks away, blinking rapidly.

Eugene frowns. “Look, you were the one who wanted to talk about this, Cass. I was perfectly fine to never hash this out with you.”

She takes a few moments to collect her thoughts. God, the anger is building again. But – she's not that person anymore. She's trying to be different.

“I'm just – surprised, that things ended up like this. That's all.”

“Yeah? Well frankly, Cass, _I_ was surprised when you grabbed the moonstone. I was even more surprised when you went on a _year long power trip_ over it.”

She wilts a little, but he's not done.

“Things got really bad, okay? I mean, me and Rapunzel found your dad messing with lorb magic because he missed you so much! So yeah, maybe it was in his best interest to step down while you were still posing a threat to Corona. Maybe if you had been here, fighting alongside us, he would have overlooked me completely. I don't know. I don't know if any of this would be happening, to be honest, so just – think about the position he was put in before you come down on me for it.”

There's a lot she wants to say right now – how fucking unfair it is that Eugene was handed a promotion she's worked her whole life for, how grateful she is that they saved her dad from whatever hell he was sure to unleash on them all thanks to the twisted nature of lorb magic, how guilty she feels for putting them both in this impossible position to begin with.

“Fuck,” she mutters. “God, I know, okay, I know! I know he was caught between a rock and a hard place, I know you were just doing the right thing! But it doesn't mean I can't be upset – no, _furious_ , that I lost out _again_ on something I've worked my entire life for!” She runs her hands through her hair, taking in fistfuls of it in her frustration. “Well, you were right. It took until I had a sword pointed to his chest for my dad to take me seriously as a warrior. If I hadn't done all of this... he still would have eventually given his post away to someone else. This was just the year I stopped lying to myself, I guess.”

Eugene watches her pensively and hands over the bottle.

“I think this is the most you've ever opened up to me like this, you know.”

“Yeah? Well, I'm trying this new thing out where I don't push everyone away and 'go on year long power trips',” she says flatly. Eugene winces.

“...That was cruel of me, I know. I'm sorry.”

Cass shrugs. “I wasn't fishing for an apology. I'm not sorry either.”

Eugene nods, resigned.

“Fair enough. We both said what we needed to say.”

“I'll drink to that.”

So they do.

“...You know, I have a hunch we'll be asked to expand the guard while the castle's being rebuilt. It's early days, but being the captain has its perks.” He glances over at her. “You wouldn't be overlooked, not this time.”

Cass smiles mirthlessly at that. “While I appreciate the offer, I don't think that you could get away with hiring an enemy of the kingdom into the royal guard without some serious backlash.”

“Then fuck 'em.”

His direct comeback makes her crack up laughing. He watches dully as she wipes a tear from the corner of her eye.

“Hah. I don't think it's that easy, but thanks, Eugene.”

“Yeah, well, it should be. I may not be as optimistic as Rapunzel, and I don't always see what she sees in you, but I do see someone who has a lot of good in her and who isn't about to turn her back on us again.” He hands the bottle back to her. “And someone who is a damn good soldier.”

She rolls her eyes and takes a smaller, reserved sip.

“Well, don't get too set on the idea. You'll need the king's approval, and I doubt he'll be jazzed about it. Besides, what makes you think I'd accept a job offer from _you_? My pride is a tricky piece.”

He chuckles darkly. “Ah, now there's the Cassandra I know.”

“Are you ever going to stop mispronouncing my name?”

“I don't! Cassandra.”

“Cass _andra_.”

“Yeah, _Cassandra_.”

“Fuck you, you're doing it on purpose.”

“Doing what? _Cassandra_.”

“Argh, forget it. Jerk.”

Some time later, after the banter has run out of steam, Cass realises just how heavy her head feels.

“How much left?” she slurs. Eugene half-heartedly rattles the bottle.

“A bit. Not much.”

“It's... it was stronger than I expected,” Cass mumbles, rubbing her eyes blearily. Come to think of it... when was the last time she even drank? She hadn't touched alcohol since grabbing the moonstone, and she'd taken a vow of sobriety while they were on the road so at least one person would be vigilant at all times to protect the group in the case of raiders... so that would mean...

She gasps and turns to Eugene, hands to her chest in a panic.

“Eugene, 'm drunk!” she cries. “I haven' drank in two years an' now I've lost my edge!”

Eugene, also looking pretty tipsy, snorts loudly and prods her face clumsily.

“Yeah! You are, just lookit ya! All ruddy-faced an' oversharing!”

Cass groans and buries her face in her hands.

“You said a nightcap! It was only supposed to be a nightcap!”

“It was! _You_ were the one who kept drinking!”

“ _You_ kept passing me the bottle! And you kept drinking too!”

Eugene huffs loudly and folds his arms, slumping into Cass's shoulder. She feels his head knock lightly against hers and grunts.

“Fitzherbert. Yer leanin' on me.”

“You're short. A good... headrest...” He yawns loudly and she tries to shrug him off.

“Don't fall asleep on me, asshole!”

“I'm gonna... tell Rapunzel...” He yawns again. “To add that infraction to the no cursin' seminar.”

…

_**Day 3** _

“This is the worst,” growls Cass. Eugene watches her with mild amusement as she downs yet another cup of water, looking positively miserable.

“Hey, you held your drink well for an oldie who's been sober for two years. You didn't throw up or start crying, so consider that a victory.”

“My head feels like it's about to split open,” she grumbles. “Remind me to never touch Koto's signature alcohol again.”

“I thought it was good!” protests Eugene. “Sure, my head would be less sore if we'd paced it better, but it was decent.”

“Next time I'll just stick to whatever they serve at The Snuggly Duckling.”

Eugene gasps, beaming smile on his face. “Oh, Cass! Does this mean we can be _drinking buddies_?”

“No no no, this was a once in a lifetime charity event,” Cass says flatly, pinching the bridge of her nose as her head once again pounds painfully. “Trust me, I'm not about to make a habit of this.”

“Oh come on, it'll be fun! We'll get everyone together! Drinking party at The Snuggly Duckling!”

“Nope, not happening.” Cass stands up. “Well, I'm off to refill the water jug. Are you sure you don't want me to bring another glass?”

“Cassandra, when you've been partying as long as I have, a hangover is a state of mind.”

“You should really hydrate or your complexion will pay the consequences,” Cass adds dryly. He frowns.

“...Fine. Bring one back for me.”

As she leaves Eugene flops back on her bed, knowing he has a precious few minutes before she comes back and orders him off. He stares up at the ceiling for a while, then pencil-rolls across the bed. His fun is disrupted, however, by the unfortunate optical illusion caused by Cass's thick winter blanket, and he falls to the ground with a thump and a groan.

As he's clutching his head, now throbbing with the pain of both a hangover and blunt force trauma, he spies something sticking out from the edges of Cass's bed: A crumpled piece of paper.

“Wow, what a litter bug,” he mumbles, reaching under the bed to pull it out. “That's another infraction I'll have to find a punishment for, as captain of the guard...”

Maybe he shouldn't be prying. This is a piece of paper belonging to Cass, discarded in her room, where he's already overstayed his welcome thanks to a late night of inebriation. It was screwed up and shoved under the bed, meaning he probably isn't supposed to look at it. But curiosity wins out, and he unfurls it anyway.

It's messy. Christ, it's messy. Cassandra's handwriting, normally quite neat and legible, is frantic here. There are crossings out every other line, a mixture of fancy words and expletives, and plenty of capitals. Whatever she's been writing, it's emotionally-charged, and if anything that just intrigues him further.

So, against all good judgement, he begins to read.

~~_Dear Rapunzel_ ~~

~~_To Rapunzel_ ~~

~~_Hey Raps_ ~~

_Hey Rapunzel_

_Things have been weird since returning to Corona. I know you want everything to ~~be perfect again~~ go back to normal but I just don't see how they CAN. I've ~~made too many mistakes~~ done a lot of ~~bad~~ misguided things and wronged a lot of people. It's great that you don't give up on anybody. It's noble of you and I really ~~love~~ admire that about you, but it isn't as easy for everybody else. Even if everyone were to forgive and forget, I wouldn't. There are still bad feelings weighing me down. Learning about Gothel hurt me. ~~YOU hurt me.~~ It's not something I can just put to rest and ignore for the rest of my life, Raps. Surely you of all people will understand that._

_That's not the only reason staying here feels suffocating already._

_I won't bother mincing words. I ~~love~~ ~~think I love~~ ~~think I like~~ really care about you. Fuck. Just putting it down in words feels dishonest, but not saying anything feels dishonest too. It's all changed and then changed back, and it makes no sense to me. ~~I don't really HAVE experience loving somebody, so I don't know how to sort through it all.~~ Being honest about my feelings has always been difficult so writing this doesn't exactly have me jumping for joy._

_This is the last thing you'd expect after how I've acted this whole time, I know that. It's surreal to me too. But MAKE NO MISTAKE, I'm not writing this with the intention of ever giving it to you. This is just to process my thoughts so I can make peace with it and move on. I'm not trying to break up your perfect relationship ~~not that I believe that I COULD~~ but YOU express yourself through writing in your journal and it's something I've never really understood, but... I haven't exactly been good at expressing myself lately, so I thought that I would give your method a try._

_As it turns out, I HATE IT. When I write my words go flowery like I'm penning a letter on behalf of my father or something. This isn't ME. None of it is. I DON'T write to express myself. I fight. But I don't think that will help me work through how I feel, so I'm back to where I started. Fucking fantastic._

_Mark my words, you will never see this letter. Once I've gotten out every last word I'm going to burn it or rip it up or maybe slash it to pieces._

“Oh my god,” he mutters.

The sound of footsteps approaching jerks him from his whirlwind thoughts and he hastily shoves the paper into his back pocket. Cass kicks open the door a moment later, freshly filled jug and clean glass in hand. She eyes him suspiciously.

“You were on my bed again, weren't you?” she accuses. He scoffs.

“Of course not! Why would I – yes. Yes, I was absolutely on your bed, and only because you said not to, I'm very easily tempted!”

She watches him, eyes narrowed, before holding out the glass to him. He regards her standing there, stormy as ever, but with a fond exasperation beneath it all. She _does_ care, and she's far warmer than he's ever really given her credit for before now.

It's certainly not the most startling revelation he's uncovered about her today.

So he takes the glass, and pats the floor beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is some cassunzel goodness!! let me know what you thought!


	3. scream out loud, kick the wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cass is reminded of another thing that makes her more human without the moonstone, and Rapunzel is there to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MENSTRUATION TW  
> So, this one is interesting. it's actually one of the first concepts I came up with for this fic. I was... uncertain about whether or not to post it once this fic started getting more readers, because I know this concept won't be everyone's cup of tea. But hey, i'm exploring cass and her experiences and leaving no stone unturned. plus it's cassunzel hurt/comfort and THAT is a big part of this story so here we are.  
> I'll post a TLDR in the end notes for anyone who needs to skip this chapter. It's a pretty self-contained chapter though, so no worries either way.  
> chapter title is from 'sore tummy' by PAWS because, haha

_**Day 4** _

When Cass wakes up, it is to two surprising factors.

Rapunzel is spooning her, sleeping soundly, and Cass has no idea at what point in the night she crept in to be with her. They haven't seen each other in days, so the fact that Raps chose to come to her as soon as she could... well, she'll try not to read too much into it. She should be happy, but unfortunately the fact that her body is on fire takes away from that.

She winces with the first wave of pain, starting from the middle and spreading outwards. In a panic, Cass thinks back to why Varian was checking up on her the other day. Sure, Rapunzel doesn't seem to be hurting, but she'd been infused with the sundrop at birth; it had been just shy of a _year_ for Cass. And she'd learned to live without it in the six months before they'd ventured out to see the spikes, too. Cass stares at the wall opposite, heart racing. Is her body going through withdrawals from the moonstone's power? Is that the cause behind the tiredness, the weird feelings, the searing pain?!

She tries to sit up, but her head hurts too, and she feels kind of shaky and weak. Shit, this is dreadful. A weak moan escapes her lips, and at that Rapunzel stirs from behind her.

“Morning, Cass,” she yawns, stretching out like a cat. Her eyes blink at Cass sleepily, and once they adjust she pushes up to lean against her elbow, looking perplexed. “Hey, are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” Cass says through gritted teeth. She manages to sit up, but her head feels heavy. The pain is constantly thrumming through her like the beat of an angry drum.

“You don't seem fine,” Rapunzel says sternly. “Do you have a migraine? Tooth ache?”

“I'm _fine_ , I swear.”

“You don't have to lie. Cass, it's _me_.”

Cass doesn't want to argue – and really, a rational part of her wonders what's holding her back from just telling Raps how bad she's feeling? Haven't they been through enough by now? – but there's some nagging voice in her head.

_You've caused enough trouble for Rapunzel. She's up to her eyeballs smoothing over your mistakes. Don't give her something new to worry about._

Yeah, she's sworn an oath to herself since being pulled into that hug with Rapunzel and Eugene. She's not allowing herself to trouble either of them further than this.

So she says nothing and throws back the duvet, ready to force herself to stand and face the day even if her body apparently wants nothing more than to rest. But a sharp gasp from Rapunzel pulls her from that thought entirely.

“Cass, uh... you, um...”

Cass glances back to see Rapunzel's stricken face, and glances down at the sheets. There's a dark stain on the bed sheet from her side, and some has made its way onto Rapunzel's nightgown from the angle they were cuddling.

Oh, _shit._

Cass stares in horror and steadies herself against the bed frame as more pain snipes through her. She can barely process both the pain and the humiliation all at once, but maybe that's a good thing. She's barely fighting back nausea as it is, if her brain lingers too long on _You just fucking bled all over Raps_ she'll be sick for sure.

“Sorry,” she mutters, squeezing her eyes shut. It all feels like too much. She hears the soft creak of Rapunzel rising from the bed and a few moments later she feels a warm hand rubbing circles in her back. The tiniest bit of pain ebbs away at her warm touch.

“Hey! It's okay,” she says fiercely. “Don't apologise for this, Cass, honestly! Is – is this normal? For you to... bleed this much?”

Cass shakes her head.

“N-No. No, normally... I mean, it still hurts, but not like this. And not that much.”

Rapunzel chews her lip. “I, uh, hmm. Come with me. We'll run you a bath, it might help with the pain. And I'll see if we can get a tonic brewed for you later.”

Panic seizes Cass.

“Raps, I can't go out there like this!” She doesn't have to look in the mirror to know she's stained through, and she doesn't have the willpower to trudge all the way up to Rapunzel's royal en-suite anyway. “I mean, everyone will see!”

“We can find you a cloak,” Rapunzel says, with far more confidence than Cass feels. “Or a robe or something. It's a shame I don't still have my long hair, huh...”

Humiliation prickles her eyes. As if Rapunzel would get her hair filthy just to help her out... thank god it's all behind them now. She swallows and moves away from Rapunzel's touch, sitting down heavily on the bed as her legs grow wobbly.

“I can't. I can't walk that far, Raps.”

Staring down at her feet, she feels the gentle touch of Rapunzel's hands mussing her hair as she's deep in thought.

“...Okay. I believe we can make this work. Don't worry, Cass, I'm going to sort this out.”

She leans down – presses a kiss to the top of Cass's head – and waltzes out before Cass can protest. She sits there for an uncertain amount of time, thinking about the lingering sensation of Rapunzel's lips on her skin. It's easier to think on the kiss; Cass can't bring herself to wonder about the strange looks Rapunzel might be getting right now, hurrying cheerfully around the castle in a bloody nightgown. Hopefully no one raises the alarm that Raps has been attacked, or they'll definitely be knocking at _her_ door first where they'll find the rest of the evidence.

God, she feels sick. Sick and clammy and everything hurts. Not for the first time in all her years, Cass silently laments on what sadistic force of nature created menstruation.

A loud thud outside of her door jerks Cass from her inward cursing. She stares at it in confusion, wondering if the guards really are about to bust down her door for her crime of bleeding all over the future queen. But then it swings open and Rapunzel is there, a look of grim determination marring her features. She thanks someone who helped her with the heavy lifting and proceeds to push a small metal bathtub through the doorway, wincing as it scrapes along the edges of the door frame slightly.

“Ta-da!”

Cass stares.

“Did you nick that from the servant quarters?”

“I borrowed it! I fully intend to return it later!” Her expression softens. “Besides, this is the easiest course of action, isn't it? This way, you don't have to go so far. We'll get you cleaned up, I'll bring you some cotton cloths, and we can wash your bedding in here too once you've finished bathing. No one has to know what's gone on but us.”

If Cass wasn't feeling so ghastly right now, the urge to lean over and kiss Rapunzel's overly-considerate face off would be almost overpowering.

She watches in a daze as Rapunzel patiently leaves every so often and returns with a pot of boiling water, gradually filling the tub up and sprinkling in generous handfuls of bath salts from time to time. She's still wearing the stained nightgown, but Cass is too tired to even point it out. Nobody is coming in to ask questions, so perhaps Rapunzel is using some kind of servant passage? Regardless, she's grateful that everything is being kept quiet. The last thing she needs is for anyone besides Rapunzel to see her like this.

She shakily stands and peels off her stained-through pyjamas, feeling horribly vulnerable in this state, and Rapunzel takes her hand and guides her over to the tub. She sinks down, and the warmth is like bliss to the searing pain in her stomach and legs. Cass sighs and tilts her head back, meeting Rapunzel's relieved smile.

“It's helping?”

“It's _heavenly_ ,” she confirms. The tub is a little too small for her to stretch out, but the heat is more than enough to relax the sore muscles in her body. “Look, Raps... I, uh... thanks, for this.”

“Cass, it was no _trouble_ ,” Rapunzel says quickly. She purses her lips. “You would have done the same for me, right? No, actually – you would have carried me bridal style all the way to my en-suite, wouldn't you?”

Cass chuckles, and winces. “Mhm. Probably. It's just... you've been running around the castle covered in blood, I'd feel bad if it caused a panic.”

“Oh, I just told everyone it was mine,” Rapunzel says flippantly, grinning at Cass's raised eyebrows. “I mean, you know, the _unmentionable_ kind. The first maid I ran into did think I'd been stabbed for a moment though. I had to be honest or else she would have raised the alarm.”

“And she was right to react that way! Please don't run around in bloodstained clothes in future, Raps, for your own sake as well as mine.”

Rapunzel bursts out laughing. “You're right, you're right! I'm sorry. I know I should have dressed first, but seeing you in pain... well, I couldn't waste a single moment, could I? Not for my brave girl.”

Cass melts a little at that.

“Raps?”

“Hmm?”

“I... I've really missed you.”

Rapunzel cracks a smile, and reaches down to squeeze her bare shoulder tentatively.

“I've missed you too, Cass. So much.”

…

A mid-morning nap and some freshly brewed pain relief tonic later, Cass is feeling marginally like herself again. Although her pyjamas are a lost cause, at least the bedding has been salvageable.

“It's kind of like being on the road again, huh?” Rapunzel laughs, when Cass wakes up to a tub that has been scrubbed clean and refilled, her bedsheets and Rapunzel's nightgown fully submerged. “Trying to wash our clothes in a moving vehicle probably wasn't the smartest plan, though.”

“Especially not when it came to making sharp turns. I'm glad I was usually the one driving.” Cass sets herself down beside Rapunzel, wincing a little at the tenderness still present in her abdomen. This doesn't go unnoticed by Rapunzel, who scoots a little closer.

“How are you feeling now?”

“Worlds better. Completely new woman.”

Rapunzel flashes a tentative smile. “I'm glad to hear it. Y'know, seeing you in pain earlier, it... it did make me think a lot about all the time we've spent together. Even if it wasn't as bad as it is today, you never once complained to me about it.”

Cass pulls a face. “Yeah, well, I wasn't about to make a song and dance about it, Raps. Especially not in front of the others.”

With a frown, Rapunzel reaches over to rest a soapy hand atop hers. “Cass, we're friends. You can trust me with all of your pain! Even the kinds you don't like to talk about.”

Fuck, it's corny lines like these that make Cass love her even more. She quickly slips her hand from Rapunzel's to roll up her sleeves, reaching around for a spare scrubbing brush.

“Well, I know that now. Besides, it's not like _you_ confided in me either.”

Rapunzel shrugs, grimacing at her own hypocrisy as she forms a response. “There wasn't much to say! I didn't want you to worry about me, it's not like it was the end of the world.”

“You see? That's the irony of sharing and caring.”

They fall into a comfortable silence for a while as they fall into the rhythm of cleaning. It's broken only by the occasional remark about the perils of cleaning Shorty's long-johns, before Rapunzel speaks up again.

“So this is your first monthly since you took the moonstone?”

Cass nods curtly, scrubbing at her bedding as it soaks in cold, soapy water in the tub.

“Yup. I guess wielding great power has its perks. I didn't sleep or eat much, either.”

“Yeah, and look how pale you've been! Have you been eating since you've been back?”

“I have, don't worry. It's just taken a bit of adjustment.” She exhales. “I suppose that's what all _this_ is. Adjustment.”

“What do you mean?”

Cass stops scrubbing and glances back towards Rapunzel, who is in turn running her now clean nightgown through a mangle. “Varian visited me the day after it all happened. He was concerned that there might be side effects from my body being detached from the moonstone. Like it would experience withdrawal, or something. When I woke up this morning in all that pain, I-I really thought maybe it was my own doing. And I wasn't sure how something like that could be treated, honestly.”

“Cass...”

“I'm _relieved_ it's nothing serious. But it is kind of, uh... embarrassing, that the cause turned out to just be my own womanhood.”

Rapunzel abandons her post and sits down beside Cass, a deep frown etched into her features.

“Cass, there was nothing embarrassing about what happened. I'm just _concerned_. You're still feeling okay?”

“Still hurts, but it's manageable now. The bath definitely helped.”

“Then take another one before bed, all right? And make sure to get plenty of rest.”

Normally Cass would protest excessive bed rest, but this makes for a great reason to justify not venturing out and having to make contact with people who still undoubtedly hate her. So she nods.

“Okay.”

Rapunzel, a little taken aback at the lack of protest, leans forward. “Okay? Just like that?”

“Well, if I don't I'll just feel bad for making you worry. Besides, I need some time. I'm, uh. Not ready to face everybody yet.”

“Oh but Cass, everyone knows it was a mistake! I'm making it my _business_ that everyone knows that!”

“You're sweet. Unfortunately, not everyone is as understanding and forgiving as you, Raps. I certainly deserve their distrust right now, but knowing that is hard. I'm going to put it right, though. Just... after my body stops trying to kill me.”

She plays it off as a joke, but Rapunzel just seems more deflated.

“I'll stay with you, all right? For tonight, at least. Until the worst of it has passed.”

“Raps, I can't ask you to do that,” Cass protests. “You've been gone the last three days on business, and you've spent today with me – I mean, have you even seen Eugene since getting back?”

Rapunzel shrugs.

“Briefly. While you were taking a nap, I slipped out to say hello.”

“Raps, I can't believe I'm even saying this right now, but you should probably spend some time with him. I appreciate all of this, but I'm a big girl. I can handle some monthly pains on my own, I promise you.”

“Can't I just bring him in here? That way we could all spend time together!”

“Absolutely not! If he even twigs that I'm menstruating right now I'll banish him from coming within fifty feet of me.”

Rapunzel sighs.

“It makes sense, I guess. A lot of women in Corona have this attitude about it, don't they?”

“What, you don't?”

“...Not really. I was, um... what to call it... a late bloomer?” She chews her lip. “That's how Mom put it. I wonder if that was the sundrop's doing?”

“Wow, you got off scot-free for eighteen years? You even bleed like a fairytale princess,” Cass says wryly. Rapunzel snorts.

“Well, Mom said it's nothing to be ashamed of, but I shouldn't talk about it unless I'm really close with someone. But even now, you seem to be embarrassed about it, Cass. And we're best friends!”

Cass groans.

“Look, Raps, don't take it personally. When you grow up without a mother and your father is an emotionally-repressed captain of the guard, let's just say he wasn't prepared to have deep meaningful talks about the changes of life. So as a result, neither am I.”

“Well, I'm sorry the two of you weren't able to be open about the stuff of life. But that doesn't mean you and I can't be, right?” Rapunzel brings her hand up – squeezes Cass's shoulder. Cass shivers pleasantly at the sensation. God, she's touch-starved. “From now on, if you're hurting from this, _tell_ me. Don't suffer in silence.”

“All right, all right.” Cass frowns. “It's just not something I'm used to, you know?”

“I get it. You keep everything close to your chest. But some day you're going to meet someone, you're going to love them, you'll _want_ to open up. I can be practice for when that handsome guy comes along, can't I?”

Rapunzel's words are dripping with blissful ignorance, but her eyes tell a different story. She's testing the waters, pushing back the boundaries, waiting to see what happens. Because deep down she knows, doesn't she? How the fuck could she not _know_ already?

“Raps,” Cass says after a strained silence. “Raps, there won't _be_ a handsome guy in my future. But you knew that.”

“There won't?”

“No. Uh... I mean, romance _so_ isn't a priority for me right now, nor has it been in the past, but... Rapunzel, you know, don't you? How I am.”

Rapunzel leans a little closer, inquisitive jade eyes bearing into Cassandra's.

“Tell me how you are, Cass?”

Cass inwardly groans and turns her head away. She never thought she would _have_ to come out to Rapunzel, but then, what does she really know anymore? They've both changed so much since being apart, and apparently Rapunzel is determined to get her back in the habit of _sharing_.

“I – hmm. Let's put it this way. Men disgust me romantically. And in general. So, uh. The only handsome stranger in my future is another woman, I think.” Cass immediately feels overexposed after this statement, so fills the immediate silence by clapping her hands together loud enough that it echoes in her room. “Phew! Well. Now you know.”

Rapunzel hums.

“Okay then. Wow! Talk about open communication! Um, thanks for telling it to me directly, Cass. I appreciate it.”

Fuck, this atmosphere is weird!!

Cass dares to let her gaze wander over to Rapunzel. She's sitting there with her arms folded, nodding slowly, trying to act casual, but there's a look on her face that Cass can't let herself read into. This tiny smile, a tinge of peach in her cheeks. Nope. Cass won't dwell on it, not today.

So, because Rapunzel pried first, she pries back.

“What's that look for, hmm? You win a bet with Fitzherbert or something?”

“Of course not!” Rapunzel says indignantly. She reaches over to squeeze Cassandra's hand and stares into her eyes before adding seriously, “I would never. Not about your personal life.”

Cass shrugs. “I don't mind. Some rumours went around when I was a teenager and that hurt, but these days I don't really care.”

Rapunzel frowns and squeezes a little tighter.

“I didn't know that.”

With a smile, Cass traces her thumb along Rapunzel's fondly.

“It's fine now, really. I know who I am and I don't try to hide it. I never thought I'd _have_ to spell it out to you, but...”

“Well, the – the thing is-!” Rapunzel bites her lip, troubled. “...I did... wonder. So many times. But it felt kind of rude to speculate. I always thought you'd bring it up to me, y'know? If you liked somebody. Some... girl.”

There's definitely some alarm bells ringing in her head right now. As if she could! As if she could tell Rapunzel, the girl she loves, that there's a girl that she loves!!

The world is a cruel place, Cass has always known that, but sometimes it still finds new ways to remind her.

…

“If your pain gets worse you'll send for me, all right?”

“Raps, no, you need to get your sleep. I promise you that I will be fine. I'm grateful for your concern, but it's not necessary.”

Rapunzel watches her with big eyes just swimming with frustration. She's aching to help, Cassandra knows that – at this point, Raps really is willing to drop everything just to be close. It's sweet, and Cass has cherished the time they've had today just being around each other, but she can't steal Rapunzel away for too long these days. Especially while parts of the kingdom still believe she's Big Bad Cassandra, ready to kill the princess at any moment.

“I just want to know that you're all right. Seeing you in pain today was a – a wake up call, I guess. Seeing you like this is... well, I guess part of me was scared it was from the moonstone too. I'm so glad it's just what makes you human.”

She cups Cass's cheek, smooths her thumb across it. Her eyes crease with a smile, lips part. Cass forgets how to breathe, just for a moment.

“Besides, I missed you these last few days! Being apart after all we've been through was its own kind of torture, Cass. I didn't expect it to take quite as long as it did to recount the situation to the foreign kingdoms, but it's done now. I'll be around a lot more.”

“Well, I'm grateful for that, really. I missed you too.” Cass leans into the touch, just for a moment, before gently guiding Rapunzel's hand back down to her side. She gently lets go and her hand feels all the more empty for it. “But you can't put your life on hold for me, Raps. I don't want you to. You need to carry on like you normally would, okay?”

“But... there's a lot we need to talk about, Cass.”

“I know that. And we will, that's a promise.” Cassandra sighs and leans back against her door frame. “But I'll still be here, all right? Do what you have to do, catch up with everyone else. If you still want to drop by after the fact, of course that's okay. I just think you disappearing into my room for days at a time will raise some eyebrows.”

Rapunzel blushes. Of all the responses Cass expected, blushing was _not_ one of them.

“You're right, you're right. Wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea.”

Cass clears her throat. “Of course not. So with that in mind...”

She opens the door, and Rapunzel sighs. “All right, I get it. It's time for me to get some rest, anyway.” She lingers by the door, even so. “But I can come by? Tomorrow night, maybe?”

“Sure. But no nightcaps? Eugene tricked me into getting drunk the other night and I'm not about to do that again any time soon.”

“WHAT?!” Rapunzel's jaw hangs open. “Oh, come on, Cass! You can't tease me with that and expect me to leave!!”

“I can and I will,” Cass says cheerfully. “You can have the full story tomorrow night. Now, go. Get some sleep.”

“Fine...” Rapunzel pulls her into a firm hug, and Cass sinks into it. “Goodnight, Cass.”

“Night, Raps. Sleep well.”

With reluctance, Rapunzel detaches from Cass and leaves slowly, glancing over her shoulder a few times and waving.

Cassandra, finally alone, first pushes the metal bathtub to one side to avoid making it a tripping hazard if she needs to leave the room once lights are out. Then comes making up the bed with now clean bedding, and making rags of the ruined pyjamas to be disposed of in the morning. Finally, when the tidying is complete and she's returned from the servants bathroom for the night, she sinks down into the same spot she sat with Eugene the other night, where they drank and argued and... where she hid her letter.

She should probably send this off to be incinerated with the ruined pyjamas.

Eyes closed, she reaches behind her to feel under the bed, but panic seizes her when there's no crumpled paper to be found. Frantically she lies down flat on her stomach, bringing her lantern closer to examine the darkness of the space under her bed.

The letter is gone.

“Fuck,” she whispers. “Fuck, oh god, where is it?!”

She sits back. Contemplates her options.

There are two possible explanations here. Either Eugene has it or Rapunzel has it. Neither of these are good outcomes.

“Oh my god,” she mutters, burying her head in her hands. “I'm screwed. I'm officially fucking screwed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TLDR: Cass gets her period for the first time since grabbing the moonstone and it's a BAD ONE. Raps is super nice about it and takes care of her and stays with her while they clean up her bedding. They have some candid talk about how the elements affected their bodies, and get talking about relationships and sharing. Cass comes out to Raps. Raps thinks she's playing it cool but is blushing like a fool. After she leaves, Cass remembers the letter she wrote, but DUN DUN DUN: it's gone. She's screwed.  
> every time i write this fic the chapters get longer!!! i know that's not necessarily a bad thing but i tend to try and keep my chapters even lengths so when this kind of thing happens i get mad LOL  
> well, this is the last of the pre-written chapters, so not sure how long it'll take me to update. but thanks for sticking around! let me know what you thought!


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